Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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