Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
