....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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