so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
