i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
