Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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