For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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