I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
