Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
BRING THE BAGELS
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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