Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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