some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
