I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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