Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize