Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
