is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
