just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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