I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
