Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize