My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Don't make out with my wife yet
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
