i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
