Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
