she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
lol hangovers are for mortals.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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