My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
