yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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