dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
