i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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