I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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