did you get engaged???
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Randomize