when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
