I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
