Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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