So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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