Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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