There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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