So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
