so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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