The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
