if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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