do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
