you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
