my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
tell me about the fingering
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