It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize