We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
