covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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