The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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