I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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