Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it hurts more in the daytime
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
