I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
