I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize