god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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