when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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