I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
