Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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