hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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