what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
