just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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