in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Life is so much better after having sex.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize